A thought on this one day of the year on which we contemplate Jesus' death, and not His resurrection...
Despite -- or perhaps, because of -- all the attending pain, uncertainty, and even conflict that the journey entailed, I never felt more spiritually attentive than when I faced and experienced the death of my father and my mother. That was over ten years ago.
I wonder if Jesus experienced something similar as he faced his own death... a heightened intimacy and spiritual attunement in the presence of the Holy Ghost and the will of the Father,
so much so, that his agonizing prayers in the Garden of Gesthemane entailed not just sweat but blood;
so much so that on the night before Golgotha he could pray "not my will but Yours", despite the wrathful, absolute separation from the presence of God that he was about to experience;
so much so, that he could care for his mother, his disciples, even his tormentors as he himself bled to death.
I wonder if I too could be just as attuned to the will of God when my time comes -- a certain death that could arrive tomorrow, even tonight.
O God, is it selfish of me to pray that you would spare me and let me live even just one day longer, so that I too would be so attuned to your Spirit and your will?
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
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| a wooden cross from Ethiopia |
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